Glee – Season 1, Episode 9: “Wheels” – review

Eighteen best things about this week’s episode of Glee (which might have jumped the shark this week according to my lovely and intelligent wife who watches a lot of TV):

1.  Britney, no longer just known to me as “Glee Club Cheerleader #3″: “Most of us don’t know how to bake. I find (PAUSE) recipes (PAUSE) confusing.”
2. Artie’s skiffle/Tin Pan Alley version of “Dancing With Myself.”
3. Food flirting with Puck and Quinn.
4. Kurt joking with his dad, “At least you don’t have to worry about me getting anyone pregnant,” and it falling flat.
5. Said dad, played nicely by Mike O’Malley: “I’m pretty exclusively committed to my Mellencamp collection.”
6. “I’m about to projectile-express myself all over your Hush Puppies.”
7. Wheelchair fight!
8. “I want to be very clear; I still have the use of my penis.”
9. Sue’s “Baywatch” gag, followed closely by her mouth-breather gag and her Falklands gag.
10. Ninja Assassin ad. Yes, it counts.
11. The ol’ marijuana-in-the-cupcake caper. Kinda weak, but shows Puck’s increasing awesomeness.
12. Santana Lopez. Again. Forever.
13. The Diva-Off, where Kurt is killing it until that goddamn high F brings him down.
14. Puck and Quinn redux in the hallway. Nearly touching. (By the way, I just met a bunch of people from Lima and the expression “Lima Loser” is not a thing. In fact, people there don’t seem to be very happy or excited about Glee at all. WHICH PROVES THE SHOW’S POINT KIND OF.)
15. Finn’s indie face when he gets the job.
16. OMG SUE’S SISTER OMG NOOO DON’T HUMANIZE HER NOOOOOOOOO (Actually Jane Lynch effing kills it in that scene 10000%. It got a little dusty in here.)
17. Okay I am not surprised about the stutter thing. Remember when I said she sucked at it? Called it.
18. The utter yellowclad ridiculosity of the “Proud Mary” routine.

Ten worst things:

1. In a different world, handicap-advocacy groups would be psyched about this episode instead of being mad that Kevin McHale isn’t handicapped in real life.
2. The reason Kurt blows the note, and his explanation to his dad.
3. Artie blowing off Tina, and his explanation thereof.
4-5. The James Cameron’s Avatar ad. Yes this counts for two.
6. Oh, yeah, like Figgins would force Sue into open auditions but wouldn’t care about adding handicapped ramps or paying for an accessible bus.
7. The meanness of Quinn, enough to make even the prettiest girl seem ugly.
8. So sick of Mercedes’ once-per-show outbursts about how the club, and by extension the show, is too white. Either ramp it up and get some real conflict or turn it off.
9. If they keep introducing new songs every week, when are they going to actually spend time rehearsing them?
10. Boo, no Emma or Coach Ken or Terri.

Okay so that’s 18-10. Not a JTS episode at all, but not the best either. Just an average one (meaning pretty good) with some spectacular stuff (the Diva-Off, Sue’s moment with her sister) and some stuff they thought would be spectacular but didn’t turn out to be (Artie and Tina, handicap awareness, Kurt and his dad). It’s cool–there’s always next week.

About Matt Cibula

Matt Cibula has written for some pretty big and pretty small websites and printed sources, including the Village Voice, PopMatters.com, AllAboutJazz, Vibe Magazine, Seattle Weekly, The Isthmus, Metal Edge, and his own website, Cave17.com