Short Thoughts on Short Fiction Vol. 9

Greetings to all the perverts, book dorks, comic book geeks, and assorted television and movie nerds who populate the pages of BSCreview, and welcome to my first ever short thoughts on short fiction. I really enjoyed this feature when the co-grand guru of BSC Brian Lindenmuth wrote the column and when Brian asked me to come and write for him, the first thought that popped up inside the gooey grey bowl of lukewarm jell-o that’s my skull was to revive the column and to try to keep it rolling on a weekly basis for as long as my writing schedule will permit it. So will see how long I can keep up the pace or how long it will take Brian and Jay to get sick of me and kick my fat ass to the curb?

Alright, before we get started with the reviews, I thought I’d lay down some ground rules of how I’m going to be writing the reviews. First off, I will be using a limp dick ‘star’ rating system for the stories I’m reviewing. The system will be a four star thing with 1 star meaning you suck and better luck with the next story, 4 means you’re packing 12 inches of baloney pony in your jeans and you’re one bad ass mother fucker. I’ll also use the whole ½ star thing to make you feel better about yourself.

Second, if you don’t like how I reviewed your story, well guess what—you can suck it.

Also, that’s what the comments section is for. I truly don’t mind hearing your opinions, as long as you keep it in the comments section. What I don’t want is you sending me e-mails telling me how wrong I was about your story and trying to intimidate me digitally. Because I’ll tell you this right now, I have a hard enough time writing people I actually like back, so guess what’s going to happen to your little electronic diatribe? Yeah, I’m going to wipe my ass with it, so don’t even bother.

Okay, now that we’ve got all the bullshit out of the way, let’s review some new short fiction.

     
The Come On by Kieran Shea, published by Eastern Standard Crime

The Come On features Shea’s recurring character, security consultant/beach bum, Charlie Byrne. Byrne has traveled outside of his native New Jersey to Philadelphia on the behest of magazine publisher and socialite, Claire Hayward. The story takes place after Byrne has apparently spent the past several days recording the movements of Ms. Hayward’s cheating butt nut of a husband and has just reported his findings to the aloof Ms. Hayward. Hayward then attempts to sink her cougar claws into Byrne who shrugs off her advances with detached professionalism.

As usual, Shea’s prose style is crisp and to the point with very little wasted language. The Come On is a flash piece and I do consider the Jersey Hooligan to be one of the best in the game as far as stories under a 1000 words is concerned. (For one of his best examples, check out his story for the last Flash Fiction Challenge, Executive Action.)

But as far as the Come On is concerned, I felt that the piece was too short and probably would have benefited from a bit more fleshing out in the way of characterization, especially for those readers who aren’t familiar with Charlie Byrne. Otherwise, it’s a solid piece of writing, however, I would read Shea’s other Byrne stories over at Beat to a Pulp and PowderBurn Flash before tackling the Come On.

Two and ½ stars

     
The Bottle and the Cloth, a Phoenix Tale by Liam Sweeny, Published by Flash Fiction Offensive

Yep, another flash piece; (what can I say people, I’m a lazy asshole.) this story focuses on the yearly ritual of one Bucky Roscoe, a former bar owner, who comes to his favorite bar at the Phoenix hotel to confess his ‘sins’ to bartender and former priest, Wally. We learn early on in the story that Bucky is dying of cancer and needs to confess his most despicable sin to Wally before he takes a dirt nap.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not always the biggest fan of flash fiction (Although I seem to write a whole Hell of a lot of it.) and most of the time I feel that most flash pieces could only be improved by the author expanding the piece. However, with this particular story, I felt the length was perfect for the subject. Plus, with Sweeny’s background as a poet, the size of the story emphasizes his grasp of language. It’s a solid, albeit melancholy read.

Three stars

     
Midnight Showdown by Sandra Seamans, Published by Beat to a Pulp

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a Sandra Seamans fan. I find most of her stories to be highly readable mood pieces full of dread and menacing all too real characters. I wish I could say I felt the same about this story.

First off, I should tell you that Midnight Showdown is a western that focuses on two brothers, Frank and Tom Martin. Frank has spent the last ten years in prison after being framed for a bank robbery that was actually committed by Tom. When Frank comes back to town, all he wants to do is settle on a small piece of land up in the hills and not be bothered. The only problem is, his brother Tom doesn’t want him back in town and is going to force him to move on if he has to. The major issue I have with the story are the characters of Tom and Frank.

To me, both of them seemed like cardboard cutouts, or simply skeletons without any real meat to get me interested in their past conflicts, which makes the story simply passable with no real hook to grab me and keep me reading; plus the twist ending felt rushed and slightly out of place in the story. Now even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of this story, I do have to applaud Ms. Seamans for moving out of her noir safe zone and experimenting with other genres.

One and ½ stars

Anyway, folks, that’s what I got for you this week, until next time, keep it sleazy.

About Keith Rawson

Keith Rawson is a little known pulp writer who lives in the alkaline desert wastelands of southern Arizona with his wife and very energetic three-year-old daughter. His stories have appeared in such publications as Plots with Guns, Pulp Pusher, CrimeWav.com, Bad Things, Powder Burn Flash, A Twist of Noir, Beat to a Pulp and many others. You can find him most nights dicking around on either Twitter or Facebook, or stroking his already overinflated ego at his blog, Bloody Knuckles, Callused Fingertips (http://bloodyknucklescallusedfingertips.blogspot.com/)