The Bodice Rippeth – April 2009
Books, Column | Elena Nola | April 21, 2009 at 12:27 pmPlease keep in mind, this is all in good fun for the laughs. I am not posting these images to make fun of romance as a genre. I read romance on a regular basis (which is why I’m in this section at the bookstore to begin with), and there are plenty of excellent writers working in the field. But some of the cover art and titles just go too far in their attempt to be “sexy”–regardless of what’s in between the covers. I don’t even have to lampoon them; they mock themselves. Those books are the ones I’m presenting here for your amusement in the inaugural edition of The Bodice Rippeth.
Category: Blatantly Obvious
Well, that’s about as honest as you can get about what the thrust of the book is.
Now.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did you think I wanted you for your mind?
Sadly, the interns assigned to title this book thought they were making a clever cowboy pun. Unfortunately no one told them he was an urban cowboy.
by Usher and Ludacris. The tie-in novel to “Yeah!”
I really hope this is about pirates. But I suspect the booty here has nothing to do with gold.
Category: Bestiality
A book name that could be suggestive merely of humankind’s underlying mammalian nature. But I think once you see what else this section had to offer you’ll understand the title is a bit more literal than that….
This book could be a cowgirl/Indian novel, where the hero is a brave named Coyote. But the cover art proves otherwise.
Note that she is committing two sins here: consorting with an animal, and, more provokingly, not wearing a shirt.
I’m confused. Is the beast the man, or whatever animal used to own that skin he’s wearing?
Category: Fetishes
About the joys of erotic asphyxiation.
The inevitable sequel, in which things end badly.
Introducing the S&M twins.
This adventurous virgin makes a pun out the boundary “everything but.”
Because a threesome just wasn’t enough.
Category: Someone Should Have Thought About This
Don’t worry, I’ve already gotten a shot for it.
Because there’ s a roofie in it!
Who needs science? Apparently he carries a WMD in his pants!
I am at a loss as to what “chosen sin” this cover is trying to suggest. Because my immediate thought is the sin of not wearing a shirt. And all I can think is, “Oh, honey, NO, even if you DID just wax off all your chest hair and can’t bear the touch of even the most baby-soft worn-cotton T-shirt right now. Just…no.”
A heart-warming memoir by a 19th-century professional.
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My second favorite article ever – next to the article that will not be named that I wrote. I love the spy satellite type camera phone pictures. And it was funny, this is my type of humor.
Love it.
*looks for Tomio approved stamp*
Very funny:)
I’ve actually been thinking of doing something similar with the cover art for historical fiction, which is peopled with a multitude of curiously headless ladies. Just have to find the time.
Glad I can share the laughs!
On the pix – I think you’re right, Damon, that just trolling a list of new release covers online doesn’t have the same effect. And Trinuviel, it took me like 15 minutes to snap 50 pix on my camera. Romance might have a higher ratio of amusing covers than historical fiction…but then again it might not.
Too funny. Thanks for the laughs!
Good to see you spreading the doggie style, carpet burn jokes about.
The chosen sin looks like he’s left a trail in the water.
Isn’t this enough justification for having a camera phone.
These are hysterical – I see this sort of thing all the time at work and am either appalled or impressed by the bravery of some publishing houses as to the titles they approve. They are attention getters, that’s for sure; and if they are catching the eye of the right reader (every reader has his/her book, and vice versa) then they must be doing something right. Still . . . as a NASCAR fan, I am really interested in anything called “The Long Hard Ride” – which I suspect has nothing to do with racing. Or horseback riding. Or whatever the story is supposed to be about. And maybe I am interested for reasons I don’t want to consider.
LOL!!! I love this–and yes, I have a twisted sense of humor. The original title was supposed to be Screwed *ggg* and my alternate suggestion when they asked for a new title was Hammered
*ahem* I guess I should have said, “For the record, I have a twisted sense of humor.”
Amie, congratulations on being the first author I’ve spotlighted in one of these posts to laugh along with me! I hope you get to use one of those alternate titles in the future, lol.
I’m making an imperial request for more bodice rippeth!